By Tim Baughman
Dear Boston (and the greater New England area):
The Boston Celtics just won their first title since 1986, and in light of this, I would like to congratulate the Celtics (with Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce receiving individual praise) as well as the city of Boston on their accomplishment.You compiled the best record in the regular season, were then forced to stave off comebacks from two far inferior teams before soundly beating two of the top teams in the NBA.
To the city of Boston as a whole, particularly to fans of their sports teams. You now officially no longer have reason to complain about anything. The Red Sox no longer have to hear chants of "1918", and lay claim to a pair of World Series titles since 2003. The Patriots have three Super Bowl titles during the Spygate Era (albeit two of them were courtesy of the right leg of Adam Vinatieri. And now the Celtics lay claim to their share of recent Boston lore by winning their 17th title. Fortunately for the rest of the sports universe, the Bruins are just brutal.
Not only do you, as citizens of Boston have no reason to complain about sports, you now owe the sports world something. I'm not saying to stop winning, because dynasties give the rest of us something to hate (hey, just look at the Yankees). I'm merely suggesting that you use your power to improve the sports world as a whole. I suggest starting by silencing Bob Ryan and Bill Simmons. Simmons isn't a bad writer, he's just a ridiculous homer, so maybe just recall him to the city or regional level. As for Bob Ryan we would all be better off with a little less of him (or Jay Mariotti).
In addition, I would suggest that if the Boston sports teams plan to continue their winning ways, that the teams rotate the years in which they win their titles. If the Celts, Pats, and BoSox all won their respective titles in the same season, I'm fairly sure someone (likely a New Yorker) would try to burn the city of Boston down. On second thought, since winning titles generally leads to mass rioting, it may be one of your own citizens that would start said large fire. In which case, keep winning. Because (to me) nothing is funnier that something or someone successful being the cause of their own demise.
Warm regards,
Tim Baughman
18 June 2008
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10 comments:
Simmons is supposed to be a homer. That's his shtick. It's not like he's pretending to be a legitimate sports writer while being a homer.
The reason he's not just a regional writer is because his writing style appeals to all sports fans. They may not like the fact that mostly every column is about New England Sports but it's funny and well written with awesome cultural references.
He's like Mariotti or Plaschke but with talent and without the need to be a complete douchebag.
Though it's true that Simmons is a homer, you're right about him being a great cultural writer. He understands that sports is more than just the teams on the field.
As for Ryan, Mariotti, and Plaschke...I think their writing speaks for itself
Hey--if you're going to write a critical story, you might garner more respect if you spelled BELICHICK correctly. And Ryan is considered one of the most well-respected hoop writers in the world--he's in the Basketball Hall of Fame.
spelling fixed...thanks for catching that
Fark Boston!
Go Dallas!
You're trying to tell me that people all over the country were interested in the solid MONTH of non-stop all-Boston all-the-time posts that preceded the Pats choke in the Super Bowl, and again as the Celts headed toward the title?
Or are you trying to instead tell me that people get off on the fact that 90% of Simmons' jokes are references to movies about Volleyball from 1982 and phony pseudo-sports theories that he invented upwards of 5 years ago, back when he actually tried to be a credible writer?
It's not that he's a homer. It's that he's such an arrogant prick about it, that he actually manages to make Boston sports fans look worse than they do on their own.
And moreso, it's that with every declaration he makes, he leaves a backdoor. He picks a side of the fence, but also prophesizes that fate will probably force things to go the other way... so that no matter how something turns out, he can claim to have been right.
Heres the thing about Boston sports fans that make them different than all other American sports fans. Boston fans TRULY believe that having there team win championship makes them better as an individual and expect more respect or praise for it.
Im a Detroit fan and the Wings just won the Stanley Cup and I enjoyed watching the entire season but in no way is them winning it all any sort of personal accomplishment for me. It is for Boston fans. It really is disgusting
Boston sports fans do not "believe that having there (sic) team win championship makes them better as an individual and expect more respect or praise for it." Just because you know a bunch of douchebags who think this way does not make it so.
Believe me, we are all aware of our good fortune... and in fact, as the guy next to me at work said yesterday, "Y'know, if we didn't live here, I'd really hate us."
But we don't want Bill Simmons back - you'll have to think of something else.
(Back in the day, I was a big Simmons fan. When he really was just a local, he used to produce an email newsletter every day, and it was great; he would read all the major papers online - and some not-so-major ones - and provide links to interesting stories. And he had some funny commentary, too. So I guess we should be proud of him; he made something of himself in a really modern way - but I can't stand his columns now, and I don't know anybody who reads him.)
This is about the 10th "Media" posting about Boston since Tuesday night...very original, way to challenge yourself.
And for the Detroit Fan...are you kidding me?? Were you alive during the Pistons run in the late 80's? What about all the bragging about this years Tigers team, before they even took the field! Its just been so long since your city has been relevant. (With the exception of the failing auto industry and crime and your saint of a mayor)
I am proud to live in Boston. I'm proud of our teams, and you would be too if you could afford to live here!!
Just for the record, I hate Detroit sports, and most things Ohio sports, so not a whole lot of homer bias here (at least in this situation)
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